20 April, 2010

April 20th, 2010

Hi cat bloggers this is Tyganas Mom. I know you all purred and purrayed your very best, but the cancer was just too strong.

I got a call at 11:33pm eastern time Saturday April 17th from my Moms husband telling me that my Mom had passed.

The next day I asked him what happened. Turns out that night Mom began to have trouble breathing and was breathing very heavy and couldn't get any words out and her blood pressure would not register. So he called the hospice nurse and she came over right away, Moms blood pressure still wouldn't register, she was still breathing very hard and I think she signed a DNR without telling me about it but I do remember hearing discussions about it before....but then the breathing just stopped.

I really hate that she was awake.

So now as you all read this I am on my way back to my hometown for my Moms services then to put her to rest. Also, to be with my remaining family.

It just really feels like this whole thing should not have happened...she never even made it to her 50th birthday before that evil beast took her down.

So now here I am.....23....with no Mom to call home to.

In an attempt to feel closer to her I have started a new hobby.

When my Mom was younger she was an avid crocheter. I mean she could make tons of beautiful things every day she was good and fast. When I was down there I got a dress that she herself had crocheted and it's lovely. For some reason she stopped when I was younger.

So I went to the store and got some thread and a learn to crochet kit.

I am now working on my first blanket.

Does it make me feel closer to her? ....a bit. It's like something we can share even though it's a little too late. But I do like doing it and found lots of cute patterns of things I would love to try and make.

I still feel weird when I go through the contacts list on my phone and see her name there......

Mommy.

But knowing if I call I won't get anyone but her husband, and I really have no desire or anything to really say to him other than the last couple days going over some of the funeral arrangements.

When I was down there about two weeks ago my Mom gave me a lot of stuff...when my Dad was driving me to the airport he told me to be careful because he thinks Mom knows the time is going to be coming soon or there is no way she would part with her things.

If she was going to just go with the liver drain or whether she was going to get it removed without telling us we weren't sure.....I believed him but I didn't really take it heart.

She didn't remove the liver drain...but it still happened.

I HATE CANCER!

It took my Mom at an early age, I never met my Grandfather because he died of cancer before I was born and now it has a hold of my Dad. (I'm hoping with every fiber of my being that after treatment Dad's will be essentially cured)

So until later cat blogosphere. I will be back and my ' Guess What Thursday' post is already ready to post so that will still go as planned. But as far as any other posting goes it might be a week...it might be two. I'll still lurk around and read things here and there, but I can't make any promises to comment or post. Hopefully you all will still be here when this is over to share in Tygana's adventures.

34 comments:

Daisy said...

I am so very sorry for your loss.

"Those who mean the most to us
Are never really gone.
For in our thoughts and in our hearts
Their memory still lives on
So may you find that passing time
Can somehow help to heal
Those memories will ease the loss
And sorrow that you feel."

I am thinking of you.

The Kool~Kittie~Krew said...

I am so sorry for your loss. Cancer had taken my grandmother (Mom~Mom) from me, too soon, as well. You are very young and just take peace in knowing that you have friends here (even though you probably have met few, if any). We send our most sincerest sympathies to you. She will live forever on your heart and soul. Again, I am so sorry for your loss.

Shannon

Alasandra said...

We are so sorry for your loss. You will be in our thoughts and purrs (prayers) and we will be praying (purring) extra hard that your Dad beats the Big C. ~Alasandra & AFSS

PS: I think it is great you are learning to crochet. I am sure that it will help you heal from your loss in time and it is a terrific way to keep a part of your Mom with you.

Amy and The House of Cats said...

I am so so sorry about the loss of your mom. I know how hard it is (I lost my mom at almost the same age - in basically the same way). I can tell you it will get easier, but I know right now that isn't really very comforting. Just know that we all are here for you and sending you lots of comforting thoughts. We are still purring and praying for your dad to be ok too. And Tygana will be a great comfort to you too, in his own way. Don't worry about the blog - take care of yourself and your brother and your dad - we will always be here when you are ready to come back!

Delilah said...

I am very sorry for your loss

Furkidsmom said...

Purrs and prayers to you. We're so sorry that your Mom has passed.

(((Hugs)))

Sniffie and the Florida Furkids

Kea said...

I'm so deeply sorry. I wish I had words of comfort, but there's nothing I can write that will help.

Just know I'm sending you universal healing Light and wishing you Blessings and Peace. (((Hugs))) from me and purrs from the fur kids.

Everycat said...

We are so sorry to read of your Mom's passing. We know this pain, and send you rumbly purrs and love.

As you crochet that blanket, it will keep you warm. Warm with love.


Whicky Wuudler & family.

JC said...

I am so so sorry.

Cancer took away my Mom too.

Let us know how you are ... when you can ...

JC & The Purr Gang

Ikaika said...

We are so sorry that your mom had to leave you, and we send you comforting thoughts and gentle purrs.

'Kaika and his mom

Eric and Flynn said...

I am so sorry for your loss. The evil cancer also took my mum when she was 50 and my dad when he was 36 so I do know how desperately sad you are. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

Harry Spotter said...

I am so so sorry for your loss. You are so young to lose your mom and your mom much much too young to pass. Our hearts, thoughts, purrs and prayers are with you and your family.

ML said...

We are very sorry for your loss.
Sending you soft purrs and love,
KC and Krew

pee ess: We think it is good to learn to crochet, too.

Danielle said...

I am sorry to hear the news of your Mom's death. You will be in our thoughts and prayers. We hope you have a safe trip and we look forward to having you back when you're ready.

Grrreta said...

We are so very sorry for your loss. You are in our thoughts and prayers. We're sending you hugs and comforting purrs.

Jacqueline said...

I am so sorry for the loss of your Mom...I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers...Only time and those you love will ease your sorrow over such a tremendous loss in your life; Tygana's unconditional love and constant presence will help you get through many sad times...Take care of yourself and we will all be here when you are ready to come back...The crocheting to feel close to her is lovely; I hope it gives you comfort...Love is an energy; Love never dies...

Brian said...

My sisters and I are so very sorry to hear about your Mom. Please know that the feline world has you and your family in our thoughts and prayers. Purrrrs.

Cindy said...

I'm so sorry. Your mom was way too young! Cancer is awful, I lost my dad that way. God bless you as you go home.

A few Good Cats said...

We're very sorry to hear the sad news about your mother. Cancer is a terrible disease. But it's fortunate that you're taking positive steps to keep your mother in mind, because you will always have many good memories of her.

Fin said...

Mom here, I am so sorry for your loss. I work with Hospice nurses everyday and I think they would tell you that your Mom died the way she wanted to go. I'm sure they made her as comfortable as they could.

I think the crocheting will be a good thing for you, and maybe you can make things to give away in her memory. Like blankets for Hospice patients or blankies for kitties.

Derby, Ducky said...

So sorry to hear of your loss. Mum says that no matter how young or old you are it is rough to lose your mother. She's been there.

Hugs and purrs to you.

Inigo Flufflebum and d'Artagnan Rumblepurr said...

It's hard to find words for something like this, but please know you're all in our thoughts.

Zoolatry said...

With many purrs and prayers, and much affection ~
Ann
Maggy and Zoey

Goldie, Shade and Banshee said...

We are so very sorry. Our thoughts are with you. We think it is wonderful that you are going to take up crocheting, a warm blanket is always needed and will help keep her with you in spirit..

Purrs and {hugs}

Kat's Kats said...

May the memories of love,
Outweigh the grief of loss.

Many hugs, purrs, & prayers from the Teenage Mutant Ninja Kitty Horde and their Feeders!

Laila and Minchie said...

We are so very sorry for the loss of your dear mom. Mom just hates that "C" word!

You are in our thoughts and prayers.

(((HUGS)))

Junior and Orion said...

We are so very sorry for your loss. Cancer truly is an evil thing. Sending you purrs and gentle headbutts to hopefully help you feel better.

CCL Wendy said...

I am so very, very sorry for your devastating loss. I didn't realize you were so young still. And your mother was still relatively young as well. It was much too soon for her to be taken from you.

I hope that you do feel her presence around you in the coming days, months and years. That's how we keep them with us. Talk to her in your head or whisper to her out loud. I hope you can find some comfort that way.

I still talk to my Dad and he died over 20 years ago.

Take your time, and allow yourself to grief. It's very important to do that so you can go forward with your life.

You have my deepest condolences, dear.

ABBY said...

I am so sorry to hear this news about your Mom.

****

Keep my memory with you,
For memories never die;
I will be there with you,

When you look across the sky.
I will be there in the clouds,
In the birds that fill the air;
In the beauty of a fragrant rose,
You will find my memory there.

You'll feel me in the tenderness,
Of a tiny baby's touch;
You will hear me if you listen,
In the twilight's gentle hush.

When your heart is heavy,
And you feel that you're alone;
Just reach down deep inside of you
For your heart is now my home.

I will always be with you,
I will never go away;
For I will live on in your heart,
Forever and a day.

****

You are in our purrs...
purrs
>^,,^<
Abby,Boo,Ping,Jinx,Gracie & Mom Debra

Love Meow said...

I am so very sorry for your loss. My heart goes out to you.

We are praying and purring for you.

You always have us, your cat blogosphere friends, here for you whenever you need us.

We are thinking of you.

Prayers from Love Meow

Love Meow said...

Take care of your self. My kitties are purring for you.

Samantha, Clementine and Maverick said...

We are so sorry to hear about the loss of your Mom!! Our purrrrrrs and prayers are with you during this time!!
Your TX furiends,

The Creek Cats said...

We are so sorry for your loss. Please know you are in our thoughts and prayers during this very sad time.

Parker said...

(((hugs)))
we are so very sorry.

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